The student voice of St. George's Independent School.

Rating the most popular Super Bowl commercials

Miriam Brown and Laura McDowell

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Companies spend millions of dollars every year for a minute-long commercial to be played during the Super Bowl. The commercials have consistently become more outlandish, to the point where now one of the key aspects of the Super Bowl is the commercials that come with it. Thus, we rated 14 of Sunday’s commercials for your viewing pleasure.

Disclaimer: Not all commercials reviewed are appropriate for all ages. Viewers’ discretion is advised.

Mountain Dew’s “Puppymonkeybaby”

 

Laura: 10 out of 10 for pure artistic interpretation.

Miriam: 9 out of 10 simply because of how weird it is and how it became viral so quickly. Although some may love it and some may hate it, people are talking about it, which was ultimately Mountain Dew’s goal.

 

 

Heinz’s “Wiener Stampede”

 

Laura: 9 out of 10 because this is what heaven looks like.

Miriam: 6 out of 10 because what was the point of this? Why are hot dogs running towards Heinz condiments? The answer might be obvious but I don’t think any hot dog would be willingly running toward their imminent death, implied by the Heinz condiments.

 

Toyota Prius’ “The Longest Chase”

 

Laura: 8.5 out of 10 because no self-respecting bank robbers would drive a Prius.

Miriam: 9 out of 10 because this was one of the only commercials that successfully advertised their product while being funny. Good for you, Toyota.

 

 

Doritos’ “Doritos Dogs”

 

Laura: 9 out of 10 because it combines three of my favorite things: dogs, food and small things standing on top of each other and wearing a trench coat as a disguise.

Miriam: 5 out of 10 because it was mediocre at best. It doesn’t even make sense why a dog would be so set on getting a pack of Doritos.

 

Hyundai’s “First Date”

 

Laura: 9.5 out of 10 because I like Kevin Hart.

Miriam: 8 out of 10 because Kevin Hart is hilarious, but the ad has almost zero connection to Hyundai, only to one feature of its car.

 

 

 

Super Bowl 50’s “Super Bowl Babies Choir”

 

Laura: 4.5 out of 10 because was that supposed to advertise something? Why do they have to advertise the Super Bowl since I’m obviously already watching the Super Bowl? Also, this is a lie because I didn’t actually watch the Super Bowl, and we’re watching this the day after the Super Bowl. But, that is most definitely beside the point, and I still don’t like it.

Miriam: 3.5 out of 10 because what was the point of that?

 

Hyundai’s “Ryanville”

 

Laura: 7 out of 10 because I relate to all of the characters on a personal level: the girls and every other character that is played by Ryan Reynolds. My favorite part is Ryan Reynolds playing catch with Ryan Reynolds.

Miriam: 7 out of 10 because the girls tried to flirt with someone they almost hit, but you know, it’s Ryan Reynolds so I’ll cut them some slack.

 

Pepsi’s “Joy of Pepsi”

 

Laura: — out of 10 because this doesn’t even deserve to be rated.

Miriam: 4 out of 10 because Janelle Monáe is amazing, but this ad isn’t really up to the bizarre level that is now associated with Super Bowl commercials.

 

 

Audi’s “Commander”

 

Laura: 5 out of 10 because there is no way that that man who has been to SPACE would be as excited about driving a car as he was about going to SPACE. This is obvious.

Miriam: 8 out of 10 because I appreciate the commercial’s premise and its use of NASA’s accomplishments. Also, it receives bonus points for using a David Bowie song as background music.

 

Skittles’ “The Portrait” with Steven Tyler

 

Laura: 2 out of 10 because I did not like this.

Miriam: 3 out of 10 because nothing about that made sense or effectively advertised Skittles.

 

 

 

 

Taco Bell’s “Bigger Than…”

 

Laura: 7 out of 10 because it’s trying too hard to be #young and #hip.

Miriam: 6 out of 10 because there was too much going on at the same time.

 

 

 

 

Doritos’ “Doritos Ultrasound”

 

Laura: 5 out of 10. Someone pitched this and a board of people agreed and thought it was clever and fun. Then they paid millions of dollars to produce it and play it during the Super Bowl. Think about that.

Miriam: 6 out of 10 because honestly that was probably me as a baby, so this ad is #relatable.

 

Honda’s “A New Truck to Love”

 

Laura: 7 out of 10 because I hated the sheep and I’m pretty sure singing animals has already been done, but the scene from “Ella Enchanted” where they sing “Somebody to Love” is iconic, and that’s all I can think about.

Miriam: 5 out of 10 because it didn’t advertise anything or make sense, but they used Queen music, so at least they have good taste.

 

Beyoncé’s Formation World Tour

 

Laura: 11 out of 10 because I have eyes, ears and a brain.

Miriam: 10 out of 10 because no one can beat Queen B.

 

 

 

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3 Comments

3 Responses to “Rating the most popular Super Bowl commercials”

  1. Laura McDowell on February 10th, 2016 8:30 AM

    im also using my eyes and brain to see that this is a fantastic article

    [Reply]

    Ms. Smothers Reply:

    I agree! I thoroughly enjoyed your viewpoints.

    [Reply]

  2. Chloe Booth on February 16th, 2016 1:33 PM

    Miram,

    How dare you give the Heinz “Wiener Stampede” a mere 6/10? Do you not understand pure artistic creativity? Do you not agree that wiener dogs are the epitome of happiness and beauty? Do you not understand that the Heinz bottles are the archetypes of the promise land and the wiener dogs symbolize the people of America? Do you not enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? I believe this commercial should be given a 11/10 just because of the happiness on both the wiener dog and the condiment bottles’ faces, they love each other so much.

    Sincerely,
    Wiener Dog Fanatic and lover of Heinz

    [Reply]

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The student voice of St. George's Independent School.
Rating the most popular Super Bowl commercials